


i love you (i wish you loved me back)

by peachabalism



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, One-Sided Attraction, don't get your hopes up, it's daniel pining this time i guess, the ongniel is one-sided, um angst is hard to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 08:38:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12813783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachabalism/pseuds/peachabalism
Summary: "So... I guess this is goodbye, then." Daniel's voice quavered but he continued on smiling like it didn't happen."I guess it is." Seongwoo said, pulling his luggage behind him as he made his way over to the door. Daniel watched him go, willing his heart to not break, to not shatter into even more pieces.





	i love you (i wish you loved me back)

**Author's Note:**

> apologies for this raw, unedited mess.
> 
> it's 1:43 a.m. here but instead of sleeping i wrote angst? clearly my priorities are straight

"I love you."

He said it in a rush; the words just tumbled out and off his tongue before he could stop them, before he could swallow them again like he had done countless times in the past. There was momentary silence and Daniel could feel the tension build up thickly until it reached the point where he was sure he would suffocate to death from it.

Seongwoo turned around to look at him slowly, hesitant. Daniel already knew what he was going to say before he did.

"Daniel, I'm-"

"-sorry, I know." Daniel smiled - it was so, so similar to the bright smiles he always had, yet so different at the same time. It was more sad, more bitter, more heartbroken. "I know, hyung."

"Then, why?"

Daniel didn't answer him right away. He locked eyes with Seongwoo, willing himself not to tear up as he gazed into the depths of Seongwoo's soul, where nothing remained of the past gentleness and tender care. Now, there was only confusion. Confusion and apprehension and guilt.

Maybe that was when something shifted inside of Daniel. Maybe that was when he finally accepted that the Seongwoo he knew and the Seongwoo he was speaking to now were two different people. Maybe that was when Daniel decided to let go.

"Because this is the last time, hyung." Daniel could see the realisation form in Seongwoo's eyes and he felt his heart clench painfully at how familiar yet stranger that expression was to him.

"Because I didn't want you to say goodbye without knowing."

More silence. Daniel could feel his smile quivering, wavering, but he held on. Just a bit more, he told himself. Just a bit more until this was all over.

"I-" Seongwoo looked like he wanted to say something but was unsure of how to word it. He averted his eyes from Daniel's and his hands fumbled with his luggage handle. "I don't know what to say."

Liar. A year since they drifted apart, but Daniel could still tell when Seongwoo was lying. Still, he decided not to pursue it. It wasn't his place to do so, anyway.

"It's okay, hyung. You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to tell you before you leave."

And then, silence took over again. Daniel hated it, hated how there was nothing left of their shared laughter and happiness. He hated how they, too, had let their friendship and comaderie fall apart at the seams.

"Well, I- uh, I have to go now." Seongwoo spoke up suddenly, one of his hands going up to scratch at the back of his neck. "My flight is in an hour and a half."

Daniel nodded, a resigned smile on his lips even as he raked his eyes over Seongwoo's form again, for the last time. "Have a safe flight, hyung."

"Thank you, Daniel." Seongwoo smiled at him, and Daniel felt his heart flood with a sudden surge of fondness. He wanted nothing more than to hug Seongwoo like he used to, to bury his face in the crook of Seongwoo's neck, where he always felt safe. But he couldn't. Not anymore.

"So... I guess this is goodbye, then." Daniel's voice quavered but he continued on smiling like it didn't happen.

"I guess it is." Seongwoo said, pulling his luggage behind him as he made his way over to the door. Daniel watched him go, willing his heart to not break, to not shatter into even more pieces.

"Wait, hyung." Seongwoo paused with his hand on the door handle and turned back to look at Daniel.

"Thank you for everything." Daniel could feel the tears building up and he only hoped that Seongwoo wouldn't notice. "Take care of yourself."

"Thanks, Niel-ah." The nickname had probably slipped out unknowingly, but Daniel's heart ached anyway. "You too."

Then, Seongwoo pushed open the door and left, the door closing behind him with a resounding thud.

Daniel's knees gave out on him and he collapsed onto the floor. He leaned his head against the wall even as the tears finally spilled over the brim of his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. His silent sobs wracked through his body as he gasped breathily for air.

God, it hurt so much. It felt like someone was ripping his soul in half, like someone was stabbing him repeatedly and stomping on the wounds. Why did it hurt so much? He thought he had accepted that Seongwoo could never reciprocate his feelings. He thought he had been prepared for Seongwoo's leave (really, was there much of a difference when they didn't even talk to each other regularly anymore?). He thought he was finally ready to end this chapter of his life and move on to a new one.

It seemed like he was wrong. Foolish. Delusional. The tears came quicker as his mind flashed back to the days when he and Seongwoo were still attached at the hip, when they still told each other about everything, when Daniel was still happy. It was so long ago, but the nostalgia and bittersweetness of it hit Daniel with so much force it left him breathless.

He was angry at himself. If only he had tried harder to stop their friendship from falling apart. If only he hadn't let the distance occur just because he thought it was wrong to maintain such close proximity to Seongwoo when the other was unaware of the feelings Daniel harbored. If only he had never fallen in love with Ong Seongwoo.

Then again, it had never really been his decision to make.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> yes i know that ending is shit and so is the title but i got tired of trying to think of a better ones so you're stuck with this.
> 
> if you would like to hmu or yell at me:
> 
> CuriousCat - @ongandkang (feel free to drop some prompts)
> 
> Twitter - @takeherhoume
> 
> kudos and comments are appreciated!


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